„Mein Mann Laurens und ich träumen davon, dass unsere Kinder später mal am Kolonisierungsprozess anderer Planeten beteiligt sein werden.“ – die wohl verrückteste Antwort die wir auf eine unserer Interview-Fragen jemals bekommen haben 😉 Und genau das ist Lulu (@lulzzfoxx), ein bisschen verrückt, ein bisschen anders und sehr humorvoll. Die 28-jährige gebürtige Amerikanerin hat schon eine Menge erlebt, doch nun steht sie vor der bisher größten Herausforderung ihres Lebens: Sie erwartet ihr erstes Kind. Wir sprachen mit der Wahl-Berlinerin darüber, wie sich ihr extravaganter Style während der Schwangerschaft verändert hat, welche Ängste sie vor der Geburt und dem Leben mit Baby hat und inwieweit das Zusammenleben mit zwei Stiefkindern im Teeniealter ihre Sicht auf das Thema Erziehung verändert hat.*
*Da Lulu Amerikanerin ist, haben wir das Interview mit ihr auf Englisch geführt. Aus Gründen der Authentizität haben wir das Interview nicht übersetzt und geben es im Original wieder.
Lulu im Mamarella Interview
Lulu, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers? Who are you, what do you do?
Hi Ya’ll! I’m Lulu. I’m from Arizona but lived a long time in Hawai’i. I was a professional tennis player for many years. I met the LOVE OF MY LIFE, Laurens in 2016! 5 years ago and we decided to move our little family of 4 to Berlin, Germany. I am now pregnant with my first baby. A baby that has been beckoning us to bring it into this world for many years. Now I have the greatest privilege to spend my life with the best partner I could imagine, bring a child up in a loving environment and to produce content every single day.
How would you describe yourself? Lulu in 5 words:
funny, athletic, introspective, emotional, supportive
You are American and have been living in Germany since a couple of years. How did that come about?
I’ve been living in Germany since 2017. Since I was a kid I always knew I wanted to live in Europe. In 2016, when I was living in Hawai’i I met this super hot German dad. We were both newly single and I was finishing writing my Master’s Thesis on the importance of Female Masturbation in the media. He was intrigued and I needed his help building a closet for my new place. From the start the relationship was super intense. We had the best year of our lives and decided we wanted a new adventure. We told his kids who were 11 and 9 at the time that we were moving them to Berlin in a few months. They were shocked, but also excited at the prospect of starting a new life and a new family.
How do you like Berlin/Germany? Do you miss anything from the USA? Do you plan to go back there someday or live somewhere else again?
Funny enough, the place I disliked most on my Euro-trip was Berlin. Mostly because our couchsurfing host was really into the history and usage of the public transport system. So, we didn’t get to see much outside of the U-Bahn. I love the flamboyancy that can be found in Berlin and how the city and its inhabitants seem to come alive in Spring/Summer. I love that you can drink a glass of wine with every meal and not be considered an alcoholic. I love the smell of bratwurst in the winter and getting together with my friends for Drag Queen Karaoke at Soho House. Laurens and I love going to Kit Kat when it is open and are always trying to bring new converts. Laurens and his family are all from Bremen, so it feels really nice to have family in close proximity, especially with the baby coming soon.
I miss so much about the USA. I miss the wide open spaces, Drive-Through’s, the big parking lots, the sunshine, being friendly with strangers, and being able to understand menus. But most of all I miss good mexican food and my family.
You are refreshingly different on Instagram, very authentic and funny. And you’ve already experienced an insane amount at the age of 28 – you’ve played tennis at university, you’ve had several jobs, you model, you’ve travelled and you’ve founded companies. What have you enjoyed the most so far?
Hey, thanks! I’ve always been a weird kid! surprise! I have found that being authentic online is a radical journey and much harder than I had imagined.
When it comes to my career, every life changing opportunity came my way because I had an unfaltering trust in myself that I could handle anything that was thrown at me. This is great in an employed situation, but became my downfall in entrepreneurship. All of my jobs and companies have been incredible experiences. I’ve done everything from working as a wardrobe stylist for a show called Hawaii Five-0 to founding a company with Porsche. I’ve enjoyed them all as they have given me a huge perspective on what is actually fulfilling in life.
What do you strive for in life? What are your goals?
I strive for perspective. It is in the moments of stretching lifes boundaries that I have found the most meaning.
Ever since I was a kid I always had big dreams. One of the hardest things I’ve experienced so far was finding out I was pregnant and dealing with the feelings of disappointment and unrealized professional potential. It has been a process of unraveling my self imposed expectations from my everyday reality. My goals now are to be happy and have a healthy baby.
Do you have a motto in life?
Push yourself. The minute you get comfortable is the minute something needs to change.
Lulu about pregnancy: „I feel like I’ve been pregnant my whole life“
You already have been a stepmother for some time now, now you are experiencing your first pregnancy. How do you feel about that?
Step parenting, especially two teenagers, is really so difficult. I recommend avoiding it if you can. We all love eachother very much, don’t get me wrong. It has been an incredible journey with them. Surprisingly their mom relocated to the town that I grew up in shortly after we moved to Berlin. When it comes to parenting there is a very steep learning curve when your mentality has to go from hot single chick one day to parent to teenagers the next.
I was a step child growing up and ended up with some really terrible people in my life. I never imagined I would be a step parent myself. However bad those experiences were, it helped groom me to foster a loving and caring relationship with my kids that I never had growing up. Seeing some of the things that my kids were and were not taught growing up and how that has manifested in their adult personalities has helped me to prioritize the values that Laurens and I want to teach the newest member. I feel very equipped emotionally to be a baby mama.
How has your pregnancy been so far? Did you or do you have any nausea or other discomfort?
I’m such an impatient person so I feel like I’ve been pregnant my whole life. The first trimester was difficult. Another thing in life I recommend bypassing if you can. I basically gave up on everything and I think I fell into a bit of a depression. My sense of smell became so heightened I couldn’t even smell fresh air without gagging. My advice is if you just found out that you’re pregnant get rid of all the nice expensive soaps, lotions, laundry detergents, perfumes etc. that you like and HIDE THEM until your first trimester is OVER!!!! Otherwise they will be ruined for life.
I have also developed a condition called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction where it has made walking and standing super painful. I am seeing a physical therapist now to try and prevent any further damage or discomfort and to make sure that it doesn’t affect my labor.
Are there any characteristics or rituals that you have cultivated since you became pregnant?
There is a song by Grimes called Night Cite Nocturne that I’ve been playing and dancing to for the last few months. I’ve made it a routine to play it daily so that the baby knows good music once it’s born. Everyday I play the song baby starts giving me lovely little taps letting me know they’re with me.
Are there things you’re really craving right now?
From week 17 to 21 all I was eating was pickles and lots of vinegar. Right now i’m craving meat, ice cream, and mexican food.
Do you reveal if it’s a boy or a girl?
We will wait until it is born! What greater surprises are there left in life?
Have you and your husband decided on a name yet? What is most important to you when deciding for a name for your baby?
Yes we have decided on the same name for either a boy or a girl. My mothers maiden name is Fox and I always wished that was my last name too haha. So we started playing around with interesting ways to incorporate that into the babies name. Just joking around we came up with something we think is really special.
Lulu about giving birth: „Like a bull going into the ring“
How do you want the birth to go? Do you already have certain ideas?
Well there is only a certain amount of control that you can have over the birth. Ultimately the baby will determine the way it wants to come into this world and I have to respect that. I am only the vessel for this beautiful life that Laurens and I have made. I want it to be the most relaxed and supportive environment for all of us to experience that process together. We are planning for a home birth with an experienced mid-wife. Something that is common here in Europe, but is illegal in some states in the U.S.A. There is a stigma and fear around birth in the States. It is almost looked at as a “life threatening ailment”. When we were looking into our birth options I was so quick to rule out home birth, telling myself that wasn’t in the cards for me.
After I had a nightmare about birth I realized I had some deeply embedded fears that I wasn’t dealing with. Laurens always tells me to go towards the pain. So I began watching home birth videos on YouTube, watched the Business of Being Born and read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. I realized that my fear was not centered in facts or experience, but a societal norm that favored the comfortability of health care professionals over the natural instincts of a mother in labor. Once I had given into the unpredictability of birth and realized that home birth is just as safe or even safer in some cases than a hospital for a perfectly healthy mother I decided to free my mind so I could free my body.
Many women are nervous before their first birth. How do you feel about it?
I have nerves, anxiety (i’m a generally anxious person), but ultimately I am so excited for this challenge. Like a bull going into the ring. I think it’s the inner athlete in me that is ready for a hard match 😉
Lulu about beeing a mom soon: „I have fears“
How do you imagine life as a mum with a baby – do you have worries or fears? And what are you looking forward to most?
I imagine I am going to be super obsessed with this baby, always having it attached to me somehow. I will become a floor person always playing and snuggling. Laurens and I will make baby raves in the bathtub, take long walks and trips to the beach. I know there will be moments of anxiety and fear, especially associated with the health of the baby. I can imagine I will make sure it’s breathing every 5 seconds. I’m really working now on breathing through the unexpected anxiety that creeps up throughout the day. The baby seems to be responding well to the increased intake of oxygen.
Yes, I have fears. There have been some unexpected health complications with both my brothers’ and my sisters’ children. I am fearful that we will face unforeseen complications that we are not equipped to handle. Right now I am the most looking forward to an uncomplicated and beautiful birth experience.
Baby-shopping! Are you already shopping hard? If so, what was the first item you bought for your baby?
YESSSS. I have really had to restrain myself. But the first item I bought was a tie-dye onesie/pant set from The Simple Folk with a matching bonnet. It’s so fricken cute. I cannot wait to see my summer baby!
My mom is the only person that knows the gender of the baby. She is in Arizona and loves shopping. So she’s gotten a headstart on baby goods.
What is most important to you in raising your children?
This is such an important question. Because I’ve gotten a bit of insight into the role that parenting plays into the future personality and characteristics of young adults, my vision of what is important is very different now than it was 5 years ago. I found a graphic on Instagram that pretty perfectly surmises the values I would like to instill in my children. Here are the 10 lessons I want to instill in my kids:
- If you are thankful, show it.
- If you love someone, tell them.
- If you’re wrong, fess up.
- If you’re confused, ask questions
- If you learn something, teach others.
- If you’re stuck, ask for help.
- If you made a mistake, apologize.
- If you trip, get back up.
- If someone needs help, help them.
- If you see wrong, take a stance
What do you wish for the future of your children?
Laurens and I would like for our children to be involved in the colonization process of other planets.
Lulu about maternity fashion: „I look for things that make me want to say: Wow, this baby has a cool mom!“
You enjoy fashion, it shows in your Instagram feed. What do you like most about it?
I like how personal and expressive it can be. My clothing really depends upon what mood I’m in. I would love to be more outrageous with my clothes but I was made fun of a lot in grade school for what I wore. I am trying to overcome my conditioning to care what other people think.
You also take fashion with humour and don’t hesitate to show yourself unstyled in sweatpants and T-shirt or really crazy outfits. What do you generally feel most comfortable in?
Being pregnant has really changed things. I feel the most comfortable in makeup, heels, a hat, and a combination of designer and thrifted finds.
And what do you prefer to wear with a baby bump? Did your clothing style change during pregnancy?
Well…the entire time i’ve been visibly pregnant we’ve been in quarantine. But my pregnancy style is different everyday. I love the crop top and loose on bottom combo, the baby mama goes to Berghain with moon boots, and the classical tight dress to show off that bump baby.
Before pregnancy I was wearing a lot of latex, pleather, and harnesses. Unfortunately most of these things don’t come in maternity sizes.
Did you face any hurdles styling with a growing bump?
All of the hurdles hit you smack in the face all at the same time. Monday you can wear your normal jeans and by Thursday nothing fits anymore. Everything that isn’t maternity is pretty uncomfortable at a certain point of belly growth. Since I was pregnant during winter and during quarantine there were almost no social occasions for me to dress the bump up for. I love to have as many options as possible when I’m getting dressed but I only had one pair of maternity pants in my closet that my mom forcibly bought me because I was so reluctant to start wearing maternity. Now that I am, I feel so much better.
What do you look for in your maternity wear?
I look for things that make me want to say, “wow, shes a cute pregnant lady” or “wow, this baby has a cool mom”
Thank you Lulu for the great interview. We wish you all the best for the remaining weeks of your pregnancy and a wonderful birth experience!